Heidi Grant Halvorson - comparing yourself to others is a mistake; to build resilience, track your own improvement

From the HBR Blog Network, which asked their contributors, "What do graduates really need to know about the world of work?" Halvorson's new book, cowritten with E. Tory Higgins, is "Focus: Use Different Ways of Seeing the World for Success and Influence"

There will be obstacles, setbacks, challenges. Many things will be more difficult than you thought they'd be. The key to success (scientifically speaking) is perseverance. You've just got to hang in there — there's no other way to win. But how do you do it? A great way to be more resilient is to stop comparing yourself to other people, and compare yourself to your own past performance — last week, last month, last year. Are you improving? That's the only question that matters.

Merlin Mann: Resilience means focusing on the work more than success or failure

From the Systematic podcast featuring Merlin Mann of Inbox Zero and 43 Folders. The topic is "failing gracefully," and in this excerpt (about 12 minutes from the start of the interview) he discusses that perhaps "doing the work" again and again is more important than tallying individual successes and failures. This is a reminiscent of the Arthur Ashe quote we posted recently:

When you're troubleshooting why your failures are not moving you further along.... you can take it too far.... it can be self-defeating. You can go too far, and try to learn too much from your failures.

Sometimes things just don't work out.... But, if you care a lot about what it is that you're doing, then you have to be open to the idea that it's going to go in all kinds of directions that you didn't expect, and that's the bigger pattern to me. Success and failure, you can look at as a post-mortem on something, after you've succeeded or abandoned it or had it taken away from you.

The people who push out a lot of stuff over time are resilient in a much higher-level way. Which means: they just believe in doing the work, and moving forward. Sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn't. Woody Allen puts out a movie every year. I haven't seen all of them, but that's his job.

His job is that he makes movies and that's the thing that he does.

Hat tip Tuuti Piippo.

Golfer McIlroy admits mistake and apologizes

World #1 pro golfer Rory McIlroy started a firestorm of controversy by withdrawing midway through his round last Friday in Palm Beach, Florida. He blamed discomfort from an impacted wisdom tooth, but golf writers instead pointed to his poor performance since switching to Nike golf clubs.

Today, McIlroy apologized for his withdrawal and said he had made a mistake, in part saying this:

I should have stayed out there and tried to shoot the best score possible.... Some people have the pleasure of making mistakes in private. Most of my mistakes are in the public eye. It is what it is and I regret what I did.

The wisdom tooth excuse crept into the statement somewhat, as well as a discussion of his relationship with tennis pro Caroline Wozniacki. But, all in all, not a bad performance from a 23-year-old who is not used to failing. The entire apology is here:

Managing negative emotions is "vital to entrepreneurs and business leaders"

Historian Nancy Koehn wrote a fascinating article about the parallels between Lincoln's presidential experience and the pressures on modern business leaders. While very few will experience anything like Lincoln's ups and downs - election to the presidency, Southern secession, military setbacks, public anger and derogation, the loss of a child, victory - all within a few short years - how he handled these can serve as a lesson to anyone.

What lesson? Koehn writes this:

The ability to experience negative emotions without falling through the floorboards is vital to entrepreneurs and business leaders. Ari Bloom, a strategic adviser to consumer-related companies and a former student of mine, put it this way: "Nothing prepares you for the emotional ups and downs that come with starting a business. There will be obstacles, big and small, that come at you every day, from personnel issues to supplier delays, to late payments or even hurricanes." Throughout, entrepreneurs must maintain their professional composure while staying true to their vision and their integrity, he said.

"Lincoln is striking because he did all this under extremely difficult circumstances," Mr. Bloom said. "Some of his ability to navigate such difficult terrain was about emotional intelligence and the deep faith he nurtured about his vision. But some of it was also about how he gathered advice and information from a wide range of people, including those who did not agree with him. This is important in building a business because you have to listen to customers, employees, suppliers and investors, including those who are critical of what you are doing."

It's true. Running a business successfully means navigating a maelstrom of emotions and experiences. Grounding, faith, resilience, vision and confidence - but not arrogance - are critical. Mistakes will happen. As will defeats. How will you respond?

Paul Downs: if you don't understand why a boss wouldn't give up, don't start your own company

From the New York Times You're The Boss blog. Paul Downs, a regular contributor, owns a furniture-making shop in Philadelphia. This exchange resulted from his post on his reasons for and approach to firing people.

Comment: If Mr. Downs’ company ran out of money in 2008, doesn’t that say something about HIS performance? Why didn’t he fire himself then?

Downs's response: Yes, it does say something about my performance, and it also says something about the economy in 2008. My mistakes cost me hundreds of thousands of dollars. As for why I didn’t quit, well, if you don’t understand, then I would suggest that you never try to start your own company.

Dweck: exceptional people convert setbacks to successes

From Carol Dweck's marvelous book "Mindset: The New Psychology of Success," a summary of her research about the effects of mindset on approaches to learning. Dweck differentiates between people with "fixed mindsets," who feel that intelligence is fixed, and those with "growth mindsets," who believe intelligence can be improved through work and study. Growth-mindset individuals see mistakes and failures as learning opportunities, while fixed-mindsetters see them as negative reflections of their capabilities.


Dweck's work underpins much of the research about learning from mistakes, and has been well-represented on this site.

The other thing exceptional people seem to have is a special talent for converting life’s setbacks into future successes. Creativity researchers concur. In a poll of 143 creativity researchers, there was wide agreement about the number one ingredient in creative achievement. And it was exactly the kind of perseverance and resilience produced by the growth mindset. [p.11]

Top salespeople are not discouraged by failure

Steve Martin (the sales expert, not the comedian)'s post for HBR.org entitled "Seven Personality Traits of Top Salespeople" contained a fascinating nugget for The Mistake Bank:

Less than 10 percent of top salespeople were classified as having high levels of discouragement and being frequently overwhelmed with sadness. Conversely, 90 percent were categorized as experiencing infrequent or only occasional sadness.

Selling Style Impact: Competitiveness. In casual surveys I have conducted throughout the years, I have found that a very high percentage of top performers played organized sports in high school. There seems to be a correlation between sports and sales success as top performers are able to handle emotional disappointments, bounce back from losses, and mentally prepare themselves for the next opportunity to compete.

Handling emotional disappointments and bouncing back from losses. Especially with the turmoil occurring in corporations today, those seem to be characteristics that many people, not just salespeople, should work on developing.

Now here's guy who's also not easily discouraged... and I'm remembering that I think he got what he wanted in the end: