We all learn from mistakes, and in my opinion parenting is the richest source of these types of stories. Despite millions of years of collective experience and innumerable self-help books, there is no way to prepare to become a parent. It's the ultimate example of learning by doing.
As my kids are now twelve and ten, one of the biggest lessons I'm learning is about anger. There's no doubt that kids don't always do what you ask them, that you need to remind them three times to do things, etc. Yet I find that when I lose my patience with the boys, it's at least 80% related to what I'm feeling, rather than what they're doing. If I've had a bad day, or am preoccupied with something, that emerges when I talk to the boys about picking up their room, or finishing their dinner, or putting down the video games. My words are sharper, I react more quickly, and lose my temper more easily.
Day by day, the boys are pretty much the same; my reaction is different. I need to fix that. I need to recognize when something else is going on and separate that from my parenting.
Still working on it.
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