Carol Dweck in her book "Mindset: The New Psychology of Success."describes the concept of the fixed mindset, where you believe that you are defined by your innate traits; one side effect is that you see yourself as superior to others due to your natural gifts:
Tom Wolfe, in The Right Stuff, describes the elite military pilots who eagerly embrace the fixed mindset. Having passed one rigorous test after another, they think of themselves as special, as people who were born smarter and braver than other people. But Chuck Yeager, the hero of The Right Stuff, begged to differ. “There is no such thing as a natural-born pilot. Whatever my aptitude or talents, becoming a proficient pilot was hard work, really a lifetime’s learning experience.… The best pilots fly more than the others; that’s why they’re the best.”
With the fixed mindset, failure is anything but a learning opportunity; it's a verdict on your worth as a person. Given that, it's not surprising that people with the fixed mindset crave affirmation and positive feedback, and are often devastated by negative feedback.
With that, I wanted to share a bit of my favorite episode of "The Office," in which David Brent hires a customer service trainer to teach his staff how to improve their customer service. But Brent can't help butting in, disrupting the class and undermining the trainer, to show that he knows more about the subject than the trainer himself. He is looking for more than attention, he's looking for admiration and validation.
When I first watched this episode, I laughed hard over and over. But, at the same time, I had this curious parallel reaction: "Hey, I've been David Brent. I've been in this same situation before and acted the same way. Oh, my...."
Yes, it's true, I am a recovering member of the fixed-mindset club.
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